Creepy Guys and Schoolgirls

 

Reading about the grotesquely misogynistic Radio1 culture that fostered Jimmy Savile and other creeps is devastating for any woman. It is particularly grim when it’s so hard on the heels of the Rochdale pimps and rapists scandal. Perhaps the worst thing about it all is that these repellent men were all picking on the most vulnerable girls, those who had nobody to tell, those who would be unlikely to be believed if they did try to tell. A lot of these were girls already troubled and neglected and this made men who like to make themselves feel powerful by having sex with very young, vulnerable people feel able to grab at their bodies and disregard them as human beings.

 

It is this last aspect of it all that is most appalling. Of course, a girl of fifteen might well find an older man attractive and, though not particularly savoury to me as an idea, might enter a relationship with him. But a relationship is different.  There are lots of girls who are pretty adult by 14 or 15 and it doesn’t take much to imagine that some of them might offer themselves completely willingly to a DJ, pop star or football player. The trouble is that they will likely be romanticising the objects of their desire, imagining intimacy, affection and some kind of relationship. It is unlikely that they expect sexual assault, contempt and humiliation.

 

The tabloids are, of course, leaping all over the Jimmy Savile story, lasciviously detailing the reported allegations of assault, drooling over the minutiae of the alleged attacks and feigning moral outrage at the culture of sexual abuse that seems to have pervaded the whole country at that time (and, let’s face it, this time too – look at Rochdale).

 

What is so depressing is that when people can, they do. Or, rather, when men can, they do. Having sex with and discarding a string of entirely interchangeable, and so dehumanised, young girls seems to be a horrifically common male fantasy.  Humiliating a female who is not their equal gives insecure men kicks.  For, of course, it is all about power and hatred.

 

It is, unfortunately, impossible to isolate this to a couple of sickening old DJs. The tabloids who are so excitedly slapping up pictures of Savile in gold boxer shorts are also running stories about ‘covergirls’ doing a ‘sexy photo shoot’, the comparative cleavages of different females stars, who is wearing the most ‘provocative’ outfit, ‘barely containing her curves’, who, after all, is younger looking and more screwable than whom. We can’t be outraged that men grope young girls when our whole culture is devoted to strapping women into dresses and shoes that pretty much cripple and hobble them and giving marks to the ones most lusted after. Look at the poor X-Factor judges – a couple of besuited men and then two women, infantalised in their appearance and barely able to move in their clothes and THEN judged by millions on how sexy they look.

 

Our whole culture is abusive towards women, sexualising and objectifying them at a very young age. There is nothing wrong with looking attractive or trying to look attractive but there is an acute problem with what is then done with this – the woman is presented as a disposable commodity, her sexualised appearance completely separated from her personality or, rather, perceived AS her personality.

 

It would be nice (don’t you think?) if men could refrain from assaulting, leering over and raping young women, whatever the cultural norms of the decade or country but, sadly, not only will they continue to do these things if they can get away with them but our culture actively encourages them to view women in this way.

About Anna Blundy

Honorary psychotherapist with a Masters in Psychoanalytic Theory and another in Psychodynamic Clinical Psychotherapy. Novelist - Author of the Faith Zanetti quintet - The Bad News Bible, Faith Without Doubt, Neat Vodka (US - Vodka Neat), Breaking Faith, My Favourite Poison. Also a memoir of my father, Every Time We Say Goodbye and my most recent thriller - The Oligarch's Wife
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3 Responses to Creepy Guys and Schoolgirls

  1. pete says:

    “There is nothing wrong with looking attractive or trying to look attractive but there is an acute problem with what is then done with this – the woman is presented as a disposable commodity, her sexualised appearance completely separated from her personality”. Sorry, but on the basis that this blogger is intelligent, there seems to be a disconnect. Women ‘looking attractive’? But looking attractive is what nature does to ATTRACT the opposite sex. Females dress up, have enticing plumage etc. So why on earth does Ms Blundy seem to have a chip on her shoulder that men want to have sex with them when they ‘make themselves look attractive’. This is feminist tosh, that a woman can make herself look sexy but then get indignant because all the men go ‘OOH, AAH’. Come off it luv. Only a year or two back you wrote a piece in The Times magazine, a rather nice piece, about how “having sex all night” made you feel good. Well, I’ve got news for you. It makes men feel good too. But dont try to make them feel guilty. Please!

  2. kate says:

    Pete,

    You’re an idiot. What are you, a dog who has to mount the first thing that turns him on. When men dress attractively, should they expect women to want to have sex with them and to mount them and harass them in public? Enough!

    How does being attractive necessarily warrant sexual harassment? Can’t you control yourself. I am not talking about plunging necklines, etc. Women who present themselves that way are rather desperate and pathetic in my opinion. Yet, men still should not feel entitled to rape, molest, or harass them because of their exhibitionism.

    Healthy relationships are based on friendship, liking, respecting, and being attracted to the other person…not just being turned on and seeking the other party as a disposable object for your release and entertainment. You’re the typical idiot whom I have to combat every day…the fact that I, as an attractive woman, whom some random guy finds attractive, wants to mount and pursue for no other reason than I turn him on, despite dressing modestly.

    Healthy men even laugh at men like you. You’re desperate and will never have a healthy relationship with your mindset. No doubt you will wind up with sick women with low self esteem who will let you use them while hating you for it.

    Get your porn drenched mindset out of the gutter and get a life, you desperate, pathetic, sorry excuse for a man. No woman owes a man anything for turning him on by the essence of her being. I have 5-10 guys per day typically who feel they need to attempt a come on based upon what I look like….despite the fact they themselves are not attractive and we have nothing in common. Yet, they feel the need to harass and waste my time trying to sell themselves hoping that I might be convinced to help them relieve the sexual tension I generated within them by virtue of committing the crime of being out in public while possessing a vagina.

    Women hate men like you and I expect you don’t even know why.

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